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Helen8
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Post by Helen8 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:15 am

From the Washington Post.

After learning a few weeks ago that Dick Cheney had signed a contract to write a memoir about his long career in government and industry, we challenged readers to propose a first paragraph for the former veep's book. Culling the several hundred entries was, needless to say, a torturous process. Today we present some of our favorite renditions.

I listed a few of my favorites:

I rack my brain whenever I search for the first sentence of anything I am composing. This thoughtful approach guided me as I sought a way to begin this memoir. I showed what I had written to Lynne. She immediately drew a big delete mark through my first two words and admonished me to get rid of "I rack." I replied, "I did."
-- Marla Peterson, Knoxville, Tenn.
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Call me Dick. Some years ago -- never mind how long precisely -- having gained wealth beyond belief from Halliburton, and nothing in particular to interest me any longer, except domination of the Government by the Vice Presidency -- I thought I would join my soon-to-be Captain, George W. Bush, in his world incursion against all things "un-American" and "un-capitalistic." I knew that I had made the right decision and gained the eternal gratitude of the nation by the way people spoke my first name with such vigor and enthusiasm since 2001.
-- James A. Beckman, Tampa
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Words can hurt every bit as much as physical abuse. I should know. Throughout my vice presidency I was painted by opponents as a warmonger who controlled the President's every move. They said that I usurped power from Congress, lied to the public about the threat from Iraq, gleefully greenlighted torture of suspected terrorists, and trampled on the Constitution. Yes, I bear the scars of many malicious words. The purpose of this memoir is to set the record straight: In fact, I have the heart of a liberal. It's in a jar on my desk.
-- Chris Hanson, Washington
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Unaccustomed as I am to the truth . . .
-- R. Deierlein, White Plains, N.Y.



http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... 9071702611

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Hilary the Touched
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Post by Hilary the Touched » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:20 am

That last one made me laugh out loud, Helen!

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Post by Helen8 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 11:21 am

Read the entire article and see if your sides split from laughing.

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Post by Gillian » Sun Jul 19, 2009 3:02 pm

In fact, I have the heart of a liberal. It's in a jar on my desk.
I lol'd pretty hard at this one too. :D

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Post by Hilary the Touched » Sun Jul 19, 2009 4:35 pm

Today's Washington Post Magazine has a column by regular contributor Gene Weingarten (whom I confess I often find simply annoying). This one is also about Cheney's memoirs; Weingarten writes that he called the publisher to ask about the book, but that the publicity director said he could only have an interview if he were "pro-book," otherwise his questions must be prescreened.
As may be imagined, this did not endear the project to him any more, and the rest of the piece is his list of proposed questions, including this corker:

"8. What precautions can buyers take to keep this book from bursting into flame should it come into direct contact with holy water, sunlight or the pure joyous laughter of a child?"

The rest is here: http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/co ... =emailpage

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Post by grannybear » Sun Jul 19, 2009 9:03 pm

Helen-I read the same article and you picked out the best. Funny.

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Post by Helen8 » Sun Jul 19, 2009 10:35 pm

8. What precautions can buyers take to keep this book from bursting into flame should it come into direct contact with holy water, sunlight or the pure joyous laughter of a child?"

Love it!!

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