The Peacocks Are Back

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Moderators: thunder, Gillian, Chari910, fruitbat, catloveyes, Helen8, kjshd05, Marie, LadyLucius

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Helen8
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Post by Helen8 » Wed Apr 29, 2009 4:16 pm

" . . . The peacocks stood at the end of her street. A ghostly white-feathered peacock approached her car. In her fear, she stalled the car. She tried to start the engine, but it wouldn't turn over. She tried again and again. The phantom bird came closer and closer. The key broke in the ignition. She was trapped. It was now at the driver's side window. It pecked its long beak on the glass. Sweat began to pour down the woman's back. She knew it was only a matter of time before the bird would smash the window with its powerful beak and drag her through and onto the cold, black pavement. She screamed for help. No one came. The woman cursed the trappers for failing to do their job properly. Now the end was near. The peacocks had won. . . . "

grannybear
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Post by grannybear » Wed Apr 29, 2009 9:04 pm

Thank you Helen. A fitting end to the tale.

grannybear
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Location: Florida

Post by grannybear » Thu Apr 30, 2009 8:51 am

Helen.....I printed your story out to show the neighbors and they loved it.
You could become a thriller writer. It's that good.
Thanks a million.

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Helen8
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Post by Helen8 » Thu Apr 30, 2009 11:19 am

You could become a thriller writer. You could become a thriller writer.

Oh, I think not. I almost started it with: "It was a dark and stormy night."

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Marie
I dig animals--sometimes hundreds of feet down
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Post by Marie » Thu Apr 30, 2009 12:56 pm

Helen - I thought it was pretty damn good!!!! (I was even rooting for the peacock!) Yea pull her ass out of the car window!!!!!

What are you doing wasting your time editing - you should be writing girl!!!!

Hugs,
Marie

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