Chivalry is Dead, part 2

Cissa · Post by **Cissa** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 11:48 am

Not so much a bitch, just something I've noticed and would really love to have explained to me:

Okay, so an old colleague of mine died almost 6 months ago of cancer. Her husband of 28 years and father of her 3 sons announced to everyone last month that he was ready to start dating again, started dressing cool, got his ear pierced and now we are all expecting him to show up one of these days in a corvette or something.
Everyone is pissed as hell at him, and I admit, I vascillate between feeling a little angry, and feeling intensely sad for him, myself. Angry because he's just up and betraying her memory, and sad because it's so obvious he's trying too hard to shut off his pain. They were so close and loved each other so much and now he wants to date other women?

I guess I just contradicted myself, huh? But I can't help it, we feel like he's trying to forget her. And it's not just him, either - it seems that a lot of men do this! I don't get it, shouldn't they spend the rest of their lives pining away for us the way we do for them??

Aw, crap! Now I can't stop tearing up...

Helen8 · Post by **Helen8** » Thu Mar 05, 2009 1:00 pm

Men are a different species.

marilaine · Post by **marilaine** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 11:03 am

That novel, "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" just goes to show that there is no intellegent life on Mars.

~M'L(C)*that'smyopinionandI'mstickingtoit*

Post by **Hilary the Touched** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 12:42 pm

Maybe . . . it is a way of dealing with his sorrow, as well as his fear--seeing your partner snatched away from you must be a hell of a reminder of your own mortality.

virtu1889 · Post by **virtu1889** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:17 pm

Perhaps he is having a hard time with loneliness and thinks he has no time to lose. But it does seem he's come out of the mourning period too quickly after such a long and meaningful relationship. But men can be so odd like that.

Angel Tavington · Post by **Angel Tavington** » Fri Mar 06, 2009 1:17 pm

Helen8 wrote:Men are a different species.

but we love them

~me

Cissa · Post by **Cissa** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 8:11 am

Your right Angel, we do love them... can't seem to help ourselves, can we? I mean, we'd forgive some men for anything... *ahem*... Tavington... *ahem*...

Well, I spoke to my sis-in-law, and she reminded me that people grieve in their own unique ways and that it's an intensely personal thing. I felt bad after that and resolved not to be too miffed, and after seeing what you wrote Hillary, I'm convinced.
Bottom line, I've never lost anyone so important to me, so I don't know what he's going thru.

I'll say this though: If my DH so much as even considers dating 4 months after I'm pushing up daisies, I'm coming back to haunt his ass! I mean, he thought Amityville was scary??

grannybear · Post by **grannybear** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 9:18 am

Most men cannot make it on their own. After being married for so many years they are used to having someone look out for them and they miss that and look for someone sooner than a woman would.
Women have adapted over the years to taking care of themselves and their families and are not in such a rush.

Angel Tavington · Post by **Angel Tavington** » Tue Mar 10, 2009 10:21 am

I mean, we'd forgive some men for anything... *ahem*... Tavington... *ahem*...

LMAO Cissa!

I forgive our colonel for anything... even if he burns my house down

~me, so silly

Cissa · Post by **Cissa** » Wed Mar 11, 2009 9:36 am

Grannybear - I hate to say it, but I always wondered about that. Even in cases of divorce, it seems to me that men get right back out there and get remarried and all a lot sooner than women do, but that may be also because women usually have custody of the children (if any). My mom waited a long time to date after my parents split, and that's her reasoning, anyway.
Plus, I know that when I met my DH, he was always eating out, always buying new clothes (cuz God knows it's easier to buy 'em than wash 'em!), etc, etc.